Sobriety Week 1

I have decided to see what happens if I abstain from alcohol. This is very scary. Like first day of school scary. Where I am excited for myself but scared shitless. Will I be able to do it?
I am trying to heal from childhood trauma. I see a therapist, I meditate, I do yoga, I read the self help books. It seems as though everything I try still is not working. Recent traumatic events ( not sure if I feel like divulging this information yet)have caused me to turn to alcohol as an escape. I believe this is hindering my healing and stopping any progress that could be made. I am constantly ending up at the starting line time and time again. Its frustrating and to some extent I feel like I could be spiraling in very bad direction.  

I have decided to document my journey to sobriety. Not sure how long I can do it. Stay tuned. Its only Tuesday and I feel strong today however I know once the weekend approaches shit is going to to get tough. Not yet sure how I am going to make it through. Yesterday I was super crabby and irritable. I was mad at myself about my actions the following weekend and I was feeling a new sort of low. A low I do NOT want to revisit. 

I will keep you posted, whoever you are. 

-H